Zelda Interviews
by KeyBlader99
Summary: This has been discontinued due to the fact that I was breaking rules... So enjoy for one day only...
1. PH Link

Chapter 1: for Phantom Hourglass Link

Question: How do you feel about those yaoi pairings about you and Linebeck or the King of Red Lions?

Answer:

I was fricken' scared! I mean, me and Linebeck? After I read like, _ two_ of those fanfics, I stayed a minimum of a mile from the guy! I mean, I'm _ ten _and he's, what, thirty? I won't even tell you the age of Carl! Who's Carl? The King of Red Lions! I called him that from the day we met to the day he died! Anyway, the yaoi pairings out there, I don't encourage them. Linebeck's an uncle to me, and Carl's like a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great Grandpa I never had!


	2. Navi

**To Navi!**

Question: Why are you so annoying!?

Answer: I'M NOT ANNOYING! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEADS, PEOPLE! TURNING DOWN MONEY IS HARD!


	3. Groose

Chapter 3: Groose

Question: How do you keep your hair up like that?

Answer: I keep it up from the wind that flows when I fall. It's also called gel. 


	4. Link

Chapter 4: Link

Question: Link, is it annoying when people call you Zelda?

Answer: Yes! I mean, why call it The Legend of Zelda?! Zelda makes her appearance either at the beginning of the game and never shows up until the end, or she finally shows up at the end of the game! It might as well be The Legend of Link. I'm the main f*cking character! 


	5. Ghirahim

Chapter 5: Ghirahim

Question: Ghirahim, do you have personal feelings for Link? If so, do you ever wonder how a relationship will ever work? I mean, him being a hero and you being a human embodiment of some evil freak's sword.

Answer: No, I have no personal feelings for the skychild whatsoever. The lipstick? They had to knock me unconscious for that. As for the tongue thing, I punched the director and stayed in my trailer for a week. As for Demise, we're not master and servant, we're just actors. Demise actually apologized for cutting Link "for showbiz." 


	6. Dark Link

Question: Dark Link, how do you feel about all the yaoi fanfics with you and Link?

Answer: Don't ever mention that again! But I'll answer it anyway. Reading those fanfics is like reading a story about kissing your reflection. 


	7. Midna

Question: Midna, hy did you break the Mirror of Twilight and leave Link so cruelly? Whyyyy?

Answer: Because he's a whiny bitch. 


	8. Tatl and Tael

Chapter 1: Tatl and Tael

Question: What do you think about your names?

Answer(Tatl): I couldn't believe our parents would put in a bad pun like that. Sure, Tael calls me 'Sis,' but it's still weird being 'TatlTael.'

Answer (Tael): They suck. 


	9. Fi

Chapter 1: Fi

Question: What exactly do you do in Link's sword all day?

Answer: Nothing. I wasn't in his sword. It's called special effects.


	10. Ciela

**Ciela**

****Question: Are you related to Navi in any way?

Answer: We're fairies. 'Course we're related. All fairies serve a Great Fairy, and they serve one Queen Fairy. Is that a good answer?


	11. Leaf and Neri

**Leaf and Neri**

****Question: Do you approve of fanfictions with you two as a couple?

Leaf's answer: Hell yeah! I finally get to see what would happen between me and Neri if we were to... y'know...

Neri's answer: ... No.


	12. Link and Zelda

**Link and Zelda**

****Question: Do you remember anything from your past lives?

Link's Answer: What are you talking about? We are all one HUGE family. All of us auditioned, and won! So, we don't have a past life.

Zelda's Answer: What he said.


	13. Saria

**Saria**

Question: Are you really a Kokiri? The reason I think this is because when Link was 17 in the game, you were the same age as before.

Answer: Um, I'm the Sage of the Forest, so...


	14. Linebeck

**Linebeck**

Question: Relationship with Ciela. Enemies? Friends? Something more in the romance department? *wink, wink.*

Answer:... You're a bitch, you know that?


	15. OotMM Link

**Oot/MM Link**

Question: What did you tell Zelda when you went to your original time after defeating Ganondork?

Answer: Um, haven't you played Majora's Mask?


	16. Ganondorf

**Ganondorf**

Question: Dear Ganondorf, why do you use the same, uninventive battle tactics as your Phantom? I mean, seriously, you play ping-pong with the hero. And your Phantom played ping-pong with the hero. Why couldn't you have gotten some new tactics?

Answer: I have no idea what you're talking about.


	17. Nabooru

**Nabooru**

Question: what was that thing you were going to do for Link if he had given you the Silver Gauntlets?

Answer: It's called an empty promise, kid. You'll start using them when you're older.


	18. Link 2

**Link**

Question: Why do you never wear pants? Seriously, dude.

Answer: I do too wear pants! You've just never seen them!


	19. Link and Saria

**Saria and Link**

Question: Saria, did you ever love Link? And Link, did YOU ever love Saria? The world must know!

Link's Answer: I never really thought about her as a girlfriend. Actually, I've never thought of a girlfriend at all. You should've seen Ruto when I canceled our engagement plans. I haven't had a happy dream since.

Saria's Answer: I always thought he and Midna would hook up.


	20. Ganondorf 2

**Ganondorf**

Question: Ganondorf, why are you so EPIC?

Answer: About damn time _someone _figured it out!


	21. Ghirahim 2

**Ghirahim**

Question: Ghirahim, how are you able to be such an evil gentleman?

Answer: Oh, it isn't that hard. You must have manners, first of all. Then you must love blood for decoration. You must have the genius of a villain yet the politeness of a gentleman. Am I clear?


	22. Volvagia

**Volvagia**

Question: Where did you get your hair cut? I like the whole fiery look.

Answer: I can't recall where. It was in the summer of '99...


	23. Midna 2

**Midna**

Question: First of all, will you marry me? Second, did it feel any different being an imp than it did being a full sized Twili? And third, whenever Wolf Link dashed, you always made a sound a little bit like a moan. What was that about?

Answer: First answer, HELL NO! Second, no. Third, it's because he ran fast. Cut me some slack, and I'm telling all of you perverts to SHUT UP!


	24. Zant

**Zant**

Question: Are you really insane? And why leave the Twilight Realm?

Answer: No, I'm not insane. So I haven't been off murdering people in She Can Move, nor have I been taking secret dance classes whenever I want. And I certainly have not been sleeping with books like that one Shad guy. And second, the Twilight Realm is BORING and STUPID! I mean, we share it with those disgusting wolves, vampires, and half bred vampire! I think we both know who I'm talking about.


	25. Ganondorf 3

**Ganondorf**

Question: Why the hell didn't you patch up the massive hole in your armor?

Answer: It takes too long! I was fighting Link, and it kinda slipped my mind!


	26. Navi 2

**Navi**

Question: Where did you go when you left Link?

Answer: I was kinda banned from answering that... Nintendo said that it was spoiler alert or somethin'... I can't remember... But I ended up here, didn't I?


	27. Malon

**Malon**

Question: What, dear, are your feels for Link? Do you like him? I hope you do. And what are your feels about him taking Epona for so long?

Answer: First off, he's a real d*ck. And I think of him as an okay friend. I hated him for life the moment he touched Epona's back.


	28. Vaati

**Vaati**

Question: Vaati, why do you have such long hair , wear purple of all the colors you could have chosen , why are you so obssesed with eyes and finally how did you manage to let ganon use you as a pawn in his "Evil" plan aren't you smarter then that?

Answer: I can't answer so many questions at once! I grew out my hair 'cause other people were doing it! I like purple, and Ganon promised me a million Rupees!


	29. Link 3

**Link 3**

Question: Who is your favourite out if all your fangirls?

Answer: What fangirls?


	30. Link 4

**Link 4**

Question: Link, does it bother you that you're paired up with pretty much every other character?

Answer: No. I like them.


	31. Ingo

**Ingo**

Question: Why did you become so pathetic after Link took Epona?

Answer: He took the best f*ckin' horse in all of Hyrule! She's worth a couple thousand rupees!


	32. Tingle

**Tingle**

Question: Tingle. WHY DO YOU EXIST. WHY. WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO COME ABOUT. WHO SCARE THE POOP OUT OF EVERYBODY. STOP IT. GET A SUIT.

Answer: I can't change what Nintendo makes me do. I hate being called gay, or bisexual, or whatever! Ask Shigeru Miyamoto about it!


	33. Link 5

**Link**

Question: Why did you go to the Lost Woods after you and Zelda exposed Ganondorf. You could've stayed at the castle with Zelda, prove to her father that her vison was real and become the next King of Hyrule while the people know you as the Hero of Time.

Answer: Who said I went to the Lost Woods? And besides, since Ocarina of Time made a lot of money, Nintendo wanted a sequel.


	34. Sheik

**Sheik**

Question: How do you keep disappearing when you throw a Deku Nut in OoT?.

Answer: Ninja skills! And magic magic maagic awooooo...


	35. Strich

**Strich**

Question: If Demise killed everyone, but for some reason he left you and ONLY you alive though he keeps you in a dungeon just to look into your soul, how would you feel?

Answer: Violated!


	36. Ruto

**Ruto**

Question: Ruto, are you upset that you never got to marry Link? :P

Answer: You shouldn't have asked that...


	37. Illia

**Illia**

Question: Ever had any feeling for link? *nudge nudge wink wink*

Answer: Whose idea was it that I had feelings for the bastard?


	38. Falbi

**Falbi**

Question: Why do you wear freaking make-up?

Answer: That's a question for the character design...


	39. Anju

**Anju**

Question: Anju, if you can't cook, why don't you hire somebody that can? Your grandmummy has to liiiiiiiive!

Answer: Why does everyone hate my cooking!?


	40. Darunia

**Darunia**

Question: ...How the hell did you get through all those locked doors in the fire temple when you clearly did not have the keys? XP

Answer: I am a Goron. As well as the Sage of Fire. So I don't need no keys.

**Forty Chapters! Can't believe it! I am so happy! Thank you all for continuing to read!**

**Special thanks to Celestial Dragon, Wingscutdarkness, and Bleachshowlover1!**


	41. 4 Swords Links

**Four Swords Links**

Question: How do you feel about being four?

Green's Answer: Feels okay...

Red's Answer: I get to hang out with people who have my interests!

Blue's Answer: ... I hate Green.

Purple's Answer: ... Whatever.


	42. Strich 2

**Strich**

Question: What do you really think of Groose and Cawlin? How do you feel about them? For both questions, please be honest.

Answer: Groose would kill me if I said this to his face. He's a good-for-nothing bratty little bastard. I only hang out with him because stupid Cawlin made me. Don't look at me that way! He threatened to smash all 99 of my Deku Hornets!


	43. Mamamu Yan

**Mamamu Yan**

Question: Mamamu Yan, why don't you get out and find your own dog? If you want it so much, get off your lazy bum and get it yourself... Castle Town isn't dangerous out yet!

Answer: You actually expect ME to find my own dog!? Have you seen how much I weigh!? WELL!?


	44. Link 6

**Link**

Question: Link, what are your thoughts on Link/OC fanfics?

Answer: If you're talking about yaoi fanfics, then you are the worst person to ever exist on the planet. If the OC is a girl, then we'll talk.


	45. Tingle 2

**Tingle**

Question: Why are you always so excited and why do you make Link pay about 300 rupees EVERY, SINGLE, TIME?!

Answer: I love money! ha ha!


	46. Sheik 2

**Sheik**

Question: I have a few questions about one subject. You know your whole 'I've been waiting for you hero' thing is REALLY creepy, right? What do you do while 'waiting'? Knit? Play angry birds? Make cookies? Stalk Link?

Answer: I play Angry Birds in my spare time...


	47. Mido

**Mido**

Question: Mido, you soulless prick. When did you start to hate Link? Why? Who are you to be going about being a jealous little crap? Jerk.

Answer: It wasn't my idea to make fun of the guy! We're good friends! Stupid Nintendo... Makes me make get jealous of some hero and makes me block some stupid exits...


	48. Link 7

**Link**

Question: How long did it take you to tell Ruto "IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!"?

Answer: Seven... Long... Lonely... Years...


	49. Link 8

**Link**

Question: Link, going back to a previous interrogation (of sorts), I was talking about Link/girl OC fanfics. So... what are your thoughts on them?

Answer: They're cool. It seems nice that people think that I get feelings for some fictional character... I mean, it's not everyday you read a story about you falling in love with a girl with a name like Juno or something...


	50. PH Link 2

**PH Link**

Question: How did it feel getting your life drain in the Temple of Ocean King?

Answer: You would know if you've ever felt like you age at a regular rate times a million.

**Wooh! 50 Chapters! I cannot believe it! I started a new story, called Keyblade High. It's my first official Kingdom Hearts Story, so you should check that out!**


	51. Link and Shad

**Link and Shad**

Question: Link. I feel bad for you but, have you seen what yaoi pairings are out there? Also Shad, you to, they paired you guys up, how do you guys feel about that?! (I bet you guys are horrified.)

Answer (Shad): I... Will never, EVER sit next to Link or see him onset again!

Link's Answer: Me too...


	52. Sakon

**Sakon**

Question: Sakon, what made you turn to thievery? Have you always done it since you were little, or did the world turn its back on you and in response you turned your back on it?

Answer: The loss of my hair...


	53. Tetra

**Sakon**

Question: Tetra, do you have a thing for Link? I mean, by the end of Wind Waker, you seem kinda close to him, and in Phantom Hourglass, you seem to give him special attention from the other pirates... is it just because he's the hero and saved you several times, or is it something...more? *nudge, nudge, wink wink*

Answer: This isn't the first time someone's been like *nudge, nudge, wink wink* to me. No, and because I give him attention doesn't mean that I like him. He's the quiet one, and quiet equals good. The others are just stupid.


	54. Sheik 3

**Sheik**

Question: Sheik, almost everyone knows that *SPOILER ALERT!* you are just Zelda in disguise. How do you feel about people saying you're a guy even though it's 100% untrue?!

Answer: I am a guy! I _am _seperate from Zelda! How do you think Nintendo pulled off the "flat chest woman?!"


	55. Link 9

**Link**

Question: Link, how do you feel when people make you female in their fanfics?

Answer: Blech.


	56. Jolene

**Jolene**

Question: Dear Jolene of the freaky eye-makeup: ...Why are you such a b*tch? And why do you constantly stalk Linebeck?

Answer: Question for Nintendo.


	57. Goddess of Time

**Goddess of Time**

Question: Goddess of time, who are you? Are you Din?

Answer: I'll never tell. Hee hee hee...


	58. Strich 3

**Strich**

Question: Do you sometimes go and talk to Levias while you're in the thunderhead when no one else is there?

Answer: Sometimes.


	59. Malon 2

**Malon**

Question: Malon, how did you feel when you found out Link had taken Epona?

Answer: Did you not read the last chapter about me?


	60. Link 10

**Link**

Question: Link, what did you think of Kamaro, the ghost dancer from MM?

Answer: It was like my worst nightmare had come true...


	61. Malon 3

**Malon**

Question: Malon, how do you feel about Ingo?

Answer: Do I _have _to answer that? If I did, this story would be rated M.


	62. Strich 4

**Strich**

Question: Ghirahim is behind you, has you in his clutches, and he's enjoying licking the inside of your ear, what do you do?

Answer: Unleash Deku Hornets on him. Oh, and to the guest named Celestial Dragon, start an account. You're old enough man.


	63. Link 11

**Link**

Question: Link, have you ever had certain thoughts about Zelda *wink wink*

Answer: Hm. That's rich. Me and Zelda? Yeah right. Have you _seen _the way she looks at me off set? The woman hates me. She would fricken unleash hell on me if I said that to her face. She's been denying it for what, twenty six years now?


	64. Agitha

**Agitha**

Question: Oh, Agitha. Why do you like creepy-crawlies? Don't they just make your skin crawl?

Answer: Crawling skin is _so _beautiful! I love it!


	65. Aryll

**Aryll**

Question: Aryll, did you ever get your telescope back from Link?! :O He keeps it, like, the entire game. And he doesn't have it during Phantom Hourglass. Don't tell me he lost it! ;(

Answer: He never did give the telescope back, did he?


	66. Link 12

**Link**

Question: Would you rather sleep with Zelda, Malon, or Sheik. YAOI!

Answer: Why the hell would I sleep with people like them?! Sheik ditches me after a music lesson, Malon sings 24/7, and Zelda stands there in the courtyard, doing nothing but stalking a Gerudo from a window!


	67. Ghirahim 3

**Ghirahim**

Question: How do you feel about all the GhiraLink fanfics?

Answer: You have brought out nightmares that go back to when I was but a naive actor...


	68. Cawlin

**Cawlin**

Question: What do you think of Groose and Strich, and be honest.

Answer: Honest? Groose is a knucklehead with a red d*ck on his head, and Strich is... um, a bug freak?


	69. Sue Bell

**Sue Bell**

Question: Dear Sue Bell, why do you always carry a pot on your head?

Answer: For coordination, and a bet of one hundred rupees I couldn't.


	70. Talon

**Talon**

Question: Talon, where did you GO after Ingo took over the ranch? I don't remember ever seeing you anywhere. Unless I'm stupid/don't remember...

Answer: You are stupid, my friend. I wen' ova ta Kakariko Village, and slept!


	71. A Very Important Message

**A Message from Link and Keyblader99**

Link: Hello there. I'm Link, and I wish to convey messages to the people who read this.

Keyblader: 'Sup guys. So, I feel like the only story you people read by me is this one, and I feel hurt. I work hard on this, but at least read my other fics. Except for the ones on hold, they're lame.

Hidden Swordsman: Hey!

Keyblader: Shut up! I am trying to speak a _really _important message, so go away.

HS: You didn't let Sora go.

Keyblader: He's Sora. He is awesome. You will _become _awesome. Big difference.

_*HS runs off sobbing*_

Sora: What a baby.

Keyblader: I thought I told _you _to work with Kairi and Riku on the scene where...

Sora: Hey! You are on! Don't forget spoiler alert!

Keyblader: Right.

Link: Should I...

Keyblader: Uh huh.

*_Link leaves_*

Keyblader: Oh, and for those of you who like Wingscutdarkness, she's gonna feature Cawlin's opinion about Groose's hair in Skyward Sword Remix.

_*Wingcutdarkness enters_*

Wingscutdarkness: What were you saying about my Remix?

Keyblader: ... noooooooothing.

*_Wingscutdarkness picks up a rock*_

Keyblader: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 


	72. Dark Link 2

**Dark Link**

Question: Dark Link, do you ever feel lonely, knowing you have no friends and that Link is the favored Hero of Time?

Answer: Sometimes... Sometimes I cut myself...


	73. Zelda

**Zelda**

Question: What's up with kissing Groose? He's Groose!

Answer: _Who _started that rumor!? Where the hell did you get that!?


	74. Malon 4

**Malon**

Question: Oh, Malon, how does it feel to be based on somebody (Marin) who was based on Zelda?

Answer: S'okay. I mean, it's not everyday you have a twin "sister," or in my case, a cousin._  
_


	75. Keyblader99 Shorts

**Short Stories with Keyblader99**

**Title: Chilling Around**

**Keyblader**: Man, sure is a nice day to _definetely _stay home.

**Link**: Yep.

**Keyblader**: I wonder how Sora's holdin' up...

**Link**: Wha' happened?

**Keyblader**: I put him in a story where Kairi's with Riku and-

**Link**: Oh. That does suck.

**Sora**: You have no idea.

**Keyblader**: WHAT THE HELL!?

**Sora**: What?

**Keyblader**: You teleported! Only _I _can do that!

**Sora**: I took the gummi ship.

**Keyblader**: Oh. I wonder how Squall's neck is doin'...

**Sora**: Rinoa actually...?

**Keyblader**: They're 17. What the hell didja expect?

**Link**: Yeah, Sora. I mean, you should see that other Kingdom Hearts Fanfic. What was it called again?

**Keyblader**: "Unwanted or Unheard"?

**Link**: That's the one.

**Sora**: I bet our Roxas _really _wanted to do stuff to Namine.

**Keyblader**: Damn, that's hot.

**Thanks for reading! I don't think I intended this to be comedic, just to chill with two of my favorite video game characters.**


	76. Shad and Ashei

**Shad and Ashei**

****Question: How do you two really feel about each other? do you have a future together?

Shad's Answer: YES! F*CK YEAH!

Ashe's Answer: You wish, ya two-faced bastard.


	77. Telma and Renado

**Telma and Renado**

Question: Telma, do you really like Renado? Renado how do you really feel about Telma?

Telma's Answer: I might, hon...

Renado's Answer: She is a scaaaary woman. Have ya _seen _Tauberpa's interpretation of her?!


	78. Ghirahim 4

**Ghirahim**

Question: What would you do if you found a pretty girl walking randomly out in the woods all by her self?

Answer: Mmmm... Tasssssssssstyyyyyyy...


	79. Link 13

**Link**

Question: Are you the only one who could look epic in that outfit?

Answer: Yes. I am. Zelda looks weird. Sheik couldn't fit. Ganondorf was too fat, and Ghirahim looks gayer.


	80. Romani

**Romani**

Question: What did those aliens do to you after they invaded the barn?

Answer: Well, I'm here, right?


	81. Kafei

**Kafei**

Question: Kafei, why didn't you just report the stolen mask? Someone could have helped you, and it would've been easier.

Answer: I WAS A FRICKEN' KID AT THE TIME! What the hell is wrong with you, asking a such a f*cking stupid question!?


	82. Epona

**Epona**

Question: Epona, how it feel to be replaced by a talking boat, a train, and a big red bird?

Answer: NEIGH!


	83. Ghirahim 5

**Ghirahim**

Question: What do you do when you wait for Link?

Answer: I do not wait for him! I play Temple Run on my GhiraPhone as well as examine ancient stone paintings! I got a score of 2.5 million on that game!


	84. Link 14

**Link**

Question: How does it feel to have to wear a skirt and tights? :)

Answer: Tight... Oh that's _so_ what he said... owww...


	85. Link 15

**Link**

Question: Link, who was your best partner?

Answer: Epona. She never objected to my decisions.


	86. Fado

**Fado**

Question: Fado, why is your house always locked? What's so important that you need to keep Link out all the time?

Answer: I have very MATURE stuff in there! TP would be rated M if you saw my house from inside!


	87. Groose 2

**Groose**

Question: What do you really think of Cawlin and Strich, and be honest.

Answer: They're minions. What do you think I think of them?


	88. Great Fairies

**Great Fairies**

Question: Great Fairies, why do you all always look like freaks or are half naked?

Answer: We... cannot answer that. Question for Nintendo, sorry.


	89. Auru

**Auru**

Question: Auru, how'd you save Fyer's life?

Answer: Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary.


	90. Keyblader99

**Keyblader99**

Question: 1. Do you mind answering the questions people give you instead of reviews?

2. thanks for answering my onslaught of questions, you have my eternal gratitude.

Answer: Okay, um, let's see... I actually don't mind. As long as it's a question. If you want something _private _answered, then PM me. If it's a question, I'll answer it. Two, you're welcome, I really appreciate the whole "eternal gratitude" thing. It makes me smile.


	91. Ghirahim 6

**Ghirahim**

Question: Where do I get a GhiraPhone? It sound aweome!

Answer: You have to find me first, Earthchild. Or get a customized GhiraPhone case for yourself and stick it on your iPhone 6.


	92. Ghirahim 7

**Ghirahim**

Question: Ghirahim, how do you feel about how the fanbase called you Debbie Diamonds during the early stages of production for Skyward Sword?

Answer: Unusually flattered. Half of the name was true, after all. As for the Debbie part... I AM SICK OF PEOPLE CALLING ME THAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S BEEN LIKE FOR ME?! I am the laughingstock of the villain meetings when someone brings that up!


	93. Purlo

**Purlo**

Question: How did you feel when Link beat your game? Where did you get the idea for it? Do those girls outside your tent have names? Are they your sisters? Where did you get those quivers?

Answer: Disappointed, actually. I saw the Clawshot, and... BOOM! Instant game. Their names are Din, Nayru, and Farore. We are unrelated. I was scavenging in the woods with Farore.


	94. Link 16

**Link**

Question: Link, what do you think about wallmasters, floormasters, Zant's hands, redeads, and dead hands? Cause they scare the crap out of me

Answer: I feel you man. They _do _scare the crap out of me. But you should've seen Keyblader99 when he was searching for the Lens of Truth in Ocarina of Time. He turned off the music 'cause of that one monster... *shivers* Man, I still have nightmares about those things.


	95. Byrne

**Byrne**

Question: Do you have an arm under you massive robot gauntlet? And what's with serving Cole? He's an imp that wears two top hats, no one can pull off a look like that.

Answer: I don't have an arm, unfortunately... Why do ya think I wear the thing in the first place! As for Cole, he was paying me, so... yeah. Plus, the whole "I need to be stronger than the spirits using darkness!" thing too.


	96. Dark Link 3

**Dark Link**

Question: Are you a pedo or emo? I've always been curious.

Answer: Um... does pedo mean gay? And emo means like the p*ssy version of goth, right? I am neither. The look is kind of a costume. I'm Link's twin brother, literally. Except for my black or white hair, depends on what I feel like.


	97. Strich 5

**Strich**

Question: What else do you do other than hang out with friends or anything bug related?

Answer: I don't do anything else. I'm-I'm serious. I definitely don't make out with random drunk women at parties. Definitely.


	98. Zelda 2

**Zelda**

Question: Why the hell did you surrender to Zant? Why are your soliders so pathetic?

Answer: I... actually don't know. Nintendo said it was "for the game." The soldiers are pathetic, aren't they? They're a bunch of cowards, and you always wonder "Why the f*ck did they sign up to be a soldier in the first place?"


	99. Epona 2

**Epona**

Question: How did it feel to be taken from Malon? What the hell is with Ilia's obsession with you?

Answer: NEIGH!

Translation: It felt nice! I couldn't wait to be rid of the bee-otch. Ilia, she loves me, I always thought of her as a lesbian...


	100. Keyblader99 Shorts 2

**Keyblader99 Shorts**

**Talking about the questions**

****Keyblader: Man, we're at 100 chapters.

Link: I know, it's pretty cool.

Keyblader: How do you feel about being asked so many questions? I mean, we made "Link 13" a while ago...

Link: It's tiring, even though it's a short answer.

Sora: When are you gonna make "Kingdom Hearts Interviews?"

Keyblader: As soon as I finish _all _of the games.

Sora: And you're stuck in the Deep Jungle in the first game.

Keyblader: I-I never said that!

Sora: Face it man, go online, and get yo sorry ass to the Keyhole!

Link *snickers*: That's what she said.

Sora: You son of a bitch.


	101. The Postman

**leumas797 to The Postman**

Question: How the hell do you manage to get across all of Hyrule so quick?

Answer: Maaaaaaaaaaaagic.


	102. Ganondorf 4

**leumas797 to Ganondorf**

Question: How do you keep getting your ** kicked by a kid with the weakest part of the Triforce?

Answer: I'm sorry. My what? It got bleeped. I might answer when it's uncensored. But if you mean ass, then it's because Nintendo pays me to lose.


	103. Strich 6

**TDI-TrueDarkChris-07** **to Strich**

Question: What do you think of Kina?

Answer: She's the most beautiful...

Keyblader: Okay Strich, dat's enough.

Strich: But, I was going to tell them my story of-

Keyblader: How you met Kina? Yeah, the Links are going to kill you if you tell that story in public.


	104. Agitha and Strich

**Din's Fire to Agitha and Strich**

Question: Strich, would you date Agitha? Agitha, would you date Strich? Do you find each other attractive?

Answer (both): No.


	105. Dark Link 4

**leumas797 to Dark Link**

Question: Why are all the girls obsessed with Link and not you?

Answer: I wonder the exact same thing, leumas... I mean, we're like twins. Wait, we _are _twins.


	106. Ghirahim 8

**zelda fangirl to Ghirahim**

Question: Why do you lick your sword when ever you sucsessfully hit Link?

Answer: Why not? I like blood.


	107. Tetra 2

**UltimateOtakuGirl100 to Tetra**

Question: Tetra, in Wind Waker, when Link saves the girls from Windfall Island from Forsaken Fortress, you say something about getting a lot of money for their return in town. ...Just how much money did you get for them?! Tetra, in Spirit Tracks, Zelda says that her grandmother-YOU-played the Spirit Flute for her when she was a child. How the heck did you manage to get it from Anjean in the first place?! Finally... Tetra, in Spirit Tracks, Zelda is your granddaughter, canonically proven. If you didn't end up marrying Link-who you said before you didn't like, at all-then WHO, pray tell, did you marry?! ...It wasn't Gonzo or Niko, was it? O.O

Answer: I got... One, two, three... one hundred rupees for the rich one, and an apple for the poor one. Anjean gave it to me, duh. I'll never tell, hee hee hee... Oh wait, that's the Happy Mask Salesman's lines. Somebody ask _him _a question, he's starting to go Ben on the cast...


	108. Link 17

**Azulhada to Link**

Question: What was your first impression of the Happy Mask Salesman?

Answer: Like ReDeads were only the beginning of a nightmare...


	109. Link 18

**Azulhada to Link**

Question: What was it like being a wolf?

Answer: Ask your dog. It's like all of my senses were heightened, except for feel. You can't heighten feel.


	110. Link 19

**leumas797 to Link**

Question: What the hell dude, in the Cave of Ordeals, fight through fifty floors to make a chick cry. How can you be so heartless?

Answer: It wasn't my idea! Miyamoto's the heartless one! I nearly cried when she cried!


	111. Happy Mask Salesman

**Azulhada to the Happy Mask Salesman**

Question: What was your first thought on Link?

Answer: He looks like Pinocchio...


	112. Postman

**Celestial Dragon to the Postman**

Question: HOW THE F*** DID YOU GET TO THE END OF THE CAVE OF ORDEALS! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO F*** DO THAT!?

Answer: Dodge, roll, kick, dodge, roll, Dodge, roll, kick, dodge, roll, Dodge, roll, kick, dodge, roll, Dodge, roll, kick, dodge, roll...


	113. Link 20

**zelda fangirl to Link**

Question: How do you rock that tunic?

Answer: Must I even answer that? I'm Link, the only video game hero to ever wear a green tunic!


	114. Happy Mask Salesman 2

**Bleachshowlover1 to the Happy Mask Salesman**

Question: What the hell is up with your laugh?! It scares me, and adds to the fact I'm scared to play Majora's Mask, xD

Answer: You mean this laugh? Hm hm hm hih hih... Besides, Ben loves it.


	115. Fyer

**leumas797 to Fyer**

Question: How the hell did you manage to get the sky canon to work? All you did was hit that pile of rubble for three days and suddenly it can send a man and two bird things into the sky, how does that work?

Answer: I'm from The Legend of Zelda. Things like this happen a _lot._


	116. Postman 2

**ZeldaPhoenixLegend to the Postman**

Question: What the heck's up with your outfit?!

Answer: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Keyblader: Why did you have to ask that?! The guy's _real _sensitive when it comes to his outfit!


	117. Shad

**leumas797 to Shad**

Question: When the Resistance ran into Hyrule Castle Auru fired his cannon, Ashei shot her bow, Rusl caught an arrow with a hawk he summoned, what the hell did you do?

Answer: Um... Throw books?


	118. Tatl and Tael 2

**Nye to Tatl and Tael**

Question: Hey you two, do fairies like, get married and stuff? And Tatl, do you think any male or female fairy is good enough for your brother?

Answer: Yes fairies get married.

Tatl: Um, no. No one.

Tael: Agreed. No one. Navi's too... how do you say this... bitchy, I guess?


	119. SS Link

**Azulhada to Link**

Question: What was it like being nothing but a soul in the silent realms? What was your impression of the guardians? Cause they creeped me out. And finally, any thoughts on Deb- I mean Ghirahim?

Answer: It's like you can control your body, but you can't feel anything... Until you fall off a cliff or get hit. The guardians _do _creep you out, don't they? They're not as bad as ReDeads, though... As for Debbie Diamonds, she's somewhat scary.


	120. Skull Kid

**Jesus Chrost to Skull Kid**

Question: You're so cuuuute! If I marry you, would that make me a pedophile? I'm only 16!

Answer: Whaaaa...?


	121. SS Link 2

**winner133 to Link**

Question: How do you feel about the silent realm?

Answer: It's silent. Emphasis on _silent._


	122. Nabooru 2

**Celestial Dragon to Nabooru**

Question: Do you and the other Gerudos do... things?

Answer: WE ARE NOT LESBIANS!


	123. MM Link

**Din's Fire to Link**

Question: Link, what did you think when you saw Kotake and Koume in Majora's Mask, right after killing them in Ocarina of Time?

Answer: Fairly creeped out, I must say...


	124. SSBB Link

**Ceu Praca to Link**

Question: Link, what's your opinion on Link/Samus Aran pairings?

Answer: Flattered.


	125. Vaati 2

**bored anon to Vaati**

Question: Are you and De- Ghirahim related or something? You look so alike!

Answer: Dammit... I knew buying that purple dye would have its disadvantages...


	126. Ghirahim and Vaati

**Azulhada to Ghirahim and Vaati**

Question: Who's copying who's hair?

Answer: Vaati is copying my hair! I came first!

Vaati: ...


	127. Keyblader99 Shorts 3

**Keyblader99 Shorts**

Keyblader: Man, 127 Chapters...

Link: That's a record.

Sora: He's right.

Keyblader: I wonder if the site keeps track of this kind of stuff.

Sora, Link, and Keyblader: ... Naw.

Sora: You better go and play Kingdom Hearts...

Keyblader: Nah. I'm goin' off and finishing Final Fantasy IX.

Sora: WHAT?! You finished that game!

Keyblader: But I want to play it again! It was one of two games that made me cry!

Sora: What was the other?

Keyblader: ... Skyward Sword.


	128. Midna 3

**Azulhada to Midna**

Question: What's your opinion on LinkxMidna fics?

Answer: Those bitches think they're _so _smart, don't they?


	129. Zelda 3

**Azulhada to Zelda**

Question: What was the first thing you thought when you found out you were the Goddess?

Answer: Shocked. Flattered. And overall disappointed. Nintendo thought it was good, but seriously, a _mortal _incarnation? Hylia's stupid!


	130. Link 21

**leumas797 to Link**

Question: what do you think about the magic armor? do you ever get any privacy travelling with so many chicks? (Navi, Midna, ghost Zelda, Epona)

Answer: The magic armor's such a rip off... As for the privacy issue, I got some whenever I used the bathroom, except for Zelda... the perv.


	131. King Bulbin

**leumas797 to King Bulbin**

Question: Where did you learn Hylian? Why does your tribe Bulbos? What the heck is with the giant ax?

Answer: I learned Hylian where everyone else does. School. That second question makes no sense. "Why does your tribe Bulbos?" What's that supposed to mean? The giant ax adds to my cool factor.


	132. Aveil

**Din's Fire to Aveil**

Question: Aveil, why did you go from being a Gerudo Theif of the Gerudo Valley in Ocarina of Time to being a Gerudo Pirate of the Great Bay in Majora's Mask?

Answer: Hyrule sucks ass.


	133. Keaton (The animal)

**Keaton (the animal)**

Question: Keaton, are your parents a Ninetails and a Pikachu because you look like a Ninetails (only with less tails) with a Pikachu head.

Answer: Kinda, sorta.


	134. Anju 2

**Anju**

Question: Have you and your hylian counterpart ever met? Also, how do you deal with your senile grandmother?

Answer: People _actually _think I have a Hylian counterpart? I'm one person! I put on some ear wax to deal with Gran...


	135. Strich 7

**Strich**

Question: I looked at you for a bit, then your bed and saw your a bit taller than your bed, and I was wondering how do even get comfy when your trying to sleep?

Answer: I curl up like a fetal baby.


	136. Majora

**Majora's Mask**

Question: why do you do suicide bombing?

Answer: Is it because of the moon? I knew that was a bad idea...


	137. Romani 2

**Romani**

Question: What was the point of practicing your archery?! You never even helped Link in the fight against "them"!

Answer: Huh. I didn't, did I?


	138. Happy Mask Salesman 3

**Happy Mask Salesman**

Question: Happy Mask Salesman, when you teach Link the Song of Healing, you say "This is the melody that heals evil magic and troubled spirits, turning them into masks." So, how did you manage to get a Mario mask?

Answer: I... should not answer that. I'll break my contract with the Giants...


	139. Link 22

**Link**

Question: How ever do you carry weird stuff like Iron Boots and Gust Bellows with you all the time? Where does it all go?

Answer: I... actually don't know. I put it in my pocket, and poof!


	140. Ganondorf 5

**Ganondorf**

Question: Ganondorf, how did you get Zant to believe that YOU are a God?! Although I must admit, your hair looks pretty good in Twilight Princess...

Answer: The giant head. Always the giant head.


	141. WW Link

**WW Link**

Question: How did you react when Ganondorf said you are indeed the Hero of Time reborn.

Answer: Did you not see my face?! I was like, "OMG!"


	142. TP Link

**TP Link**

Question: Which is creepier ReDeads or ReDead Knights? Cause honestly they both scare the heck out of me.

Answer: I say both. T-They are just dead v-virgins...


	143. Rauru

**Rauru**

Question: Do you have hands under that long robe of yours? Because I swear it looks like you don't.

Answer: I-I do have hands! Honestly.


	144. Link 23

**SS Link**

Question: what is it like to ride a loftwing? how do you feel about impa? what was it like when you first saw yeto and yeta?

Answer: Riding a loftwing is like riding on the top of an airplane. Impa's so-so. Yeto was a yeti, and Yeta was a bundle of blankets.


	145. Malo

**Malo**

Question: how old are you? you own a f***ing business, how the hell did you manage that? and what is with that dance?

Answer: I'm nine or so. I don't manage the business. The guy at Castle Town does. The dance? I was born with the idea.


	146. Midna 4

**Midna**

Question: are the twili outside your palace all there are? why can't they speak hylian when you and zant can?

Answer: Naw. There's plenty more in the castle. They had their mouths cut off, that's all.


	147. Midna and Zant

**Midna and Zant**

Question: why do you two wear helmets? are you two related?

Midna's Answer: Zant wears the helmet because Ganon gave it to him.

Zant's Answer: Midna wears the helmet because it's part of the f*cking game plot.


	148. Link 24

**Link**

Question: how you you manage to keep your temper with navi and midna? question 2: how do u manage not to speak ? and how do people know what you say if you dont say anything?

Answer: I manage by not speaking. I don't speak because I'm Link. Get it? Everyone in Hyrule knows sign language. It's part of education.


	149. Vaati 3

**Vaati**

Question: Vaati are you trippin' balls?

Answer: What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you even know what dignity is?!


	150. Groose 3

**Groose**

Question: are you Mido's ancestor or something? you both hate Link.

Answer: No. I started living in Lanayru after Skyward Sword. What makes you think I'm his ancestor? We share a common "thing," okay? Besides, his hair deflates before mine.


	151. Keyblader99 Shorts 4

**Keyblader99 Shorts**

Keyblader: DAMMIT!

Sora: What's wrong?

Keyblader: All these damn questions are pissing me the hell off!

Sora: Exactly how many are there?

Keyblader: A whole... fucking... seventeen.

Sora: Holy shit that is a lot.

Keyblader: Guys, I appreciate the fact you love this story (if you don't, you suck ass), but lay off the questions. I'm just one guy.


	152. Keyblader99 2

**Keyblader99**

Question: why don't you get another author to help you answer all the questions you get?

Answer: Huh. I never thought of that. Should've come to mind when Wingscutdarkness offered a co-write for Twilight Princess Remix... Okay. How about you, Azulhada, and Bleachshowlover somethin' or other help? PM me if you agree!


	153. Sheik 4

**Sheik**

Question: Sheik, where do you keep your harp in OOT?

Answer: I shove harps up my ass. Problem, bro?


	154. Sheik 5

**Sheik**

Question: How do you feel about the fanfic's featuring you and Midna as a couple?

Answer: People think I'm a lesbian...? Excuse me for a second. *_Takes out a knife* _I have some killing to attend to.

Male Sheik: I think when they say Shidna or Midneik, they're referring to me as the Sheik.

Sheik: Oh. Oops.

M Sheik: Alright what the f*ck did you do?


	155. Halloween Special

**Keyblader99 Shorts**

**Late Halloween Special**

Sora: Hey, Link, whatcha doin?

Link: Countin' my candy.

Sora: You went trick or treating?

Link: 'Course I did! I always do!

Sora: Who'd you go as?

Link: ... Really?

*Keyblader enters*

Keyblader: He went as Link, dumbass!

Sora: Oh. Right. I knew that! Well, I went as Sora! You jelly, bro?

Keyblader: I threw on a clown wig along with a green jacket, and someone said my costume was real creative! Who's jelly now, bro?

Link: Dude, that's not a good costume.

Sora: He's right.

Keyblader: I know...


	156. Chapter 156

**TP Link**

Question: is that undead sword master your dad?

Answer: Considering the fact I have no idea who the f*ck he is, the answer is no.

**Hero's Shade**

Question: are you link from MM?

Answer: I'll just say this: Do I look like him?


	157. Postman 3

**Postman**

Question: Have you delivered letters both while the moon was falling and Twilight was descending?

Answer: Of course I have! Now, if you excuse me, I must deliver a letter to some Ganondorf guy or something...


	158. Dark Link 5

**To the Lovely Dark Link!**

Question: In Link's awakening you were the final boss, but now in all the other games, you're rarely shown! How does that feel?

Answer: I will f*cking stab you, a frog forgotten!


	159. ST Zelda

**To Spirit Tracks Zelda!**

Question: ST Zelda, what was it like to suddenly realize you were a floating ghost?

Answer: You have played the game right? 'Cause I can't exactly answer that...


	160. WW Ganondorf

**To Wind Waker Ganondorf!**

Question: Why are you fat in the Wind Waker?

Answer: Being sealed in the Sacred Realm makes you lazy! And the food there! Don't even get me started on the food...


	161. Four Swords Links

**To the Four Swords Links!**

Question: What do you think of all the yaoi fanfics pairing all of you up together?

Green's Answer: *Gapes at interviewer*

Red's Answer: Well, I don't go online that often, so

Blue: Yeah you do! Whenever I try to go on the computer, you are on f*cking Facebook!

Red: Hey! It's for homework purposes!

Blue: Yeah, _sure_! 'Cause posting pictures of Vio's new chicken with captions like "Isn't he adorable?" is _totally_ homework!

Vio *Watching Red and Blue argue*: *Sighs* You guys...

Green: *Still gaping at interviewer*

Vio: Guess there is no straight answer... *takes out book and begins reading*


	162. 4 Swords Links 2

**To the Four Swords Links!**

Question: What do you think of yourselves after watching the 4 Swords Misadventures? Must see all seven episodes.

Green: I love me.

Red: *begins sobbing*

Blue: *starts cracking knuckles* hitthefloor79, you son of a bitch...

Purple: *sighs in disbelief while rolling his eyes*


	163. Red and Blue

**To the Four Swords Links Red and Blue!**

Question: What if you woke up to see the other sleeping next to you?

Blue: I swear, Red, that if you go into my room again...

Red: It was only one time! I had a nightmare!

Blue: Than ya shoulda gone to Green! He's the f*cking leader!

Red: But you're the tough one!

Blue: That's not an excuse!

*Two continue arguing as Vio and Green enter*

Green: Y'think we should do something?

Vio: Why don't we wait and see what happens?

*Red and Blue begin to fight with swords*

Green: Let's scram!

Vio: Agreed.


	164. EVERYONE

**To EVERYONE!**

Question: WHY DO YOU ALL HATE EACH OTHER SO MUCH! CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICER LIKE WHEN YOUR IN THE GAME!

Link: WHY DO YOU THINK WE HATE EACH OTHER!?

Ganon: Are you referring to me and Link?

Demise: I think he means _me_ and Link.

Ganon: No. Me.

Demise: Me!

*Demise and Ganon begin fighting*

Link: Guys...!

Midna: They're not gonna stop until one wins.

Dark: Why are they fighting?

Link: Trying to steal the spotlight as "Best Villain."

*Xehanort from KH enters*

Xehanort: ENOUGH!

*blows Ganon and Demise apart*

Xehanort: You two bastards should stop fighting! 'Cause everyone knows that I, XEHANORT, AM THE GREATEST VILLAIN OF ALL TIME!

Keyblader99: No, you're not.

Xehanort: Why is that?

Keyblader: 'Cause I say so.

Xehanort: What makes you think _you_ have a say in _my_ position?

Keyblader (summons Ultima Weapon and Metal Chocobo): These.


	165. Ghirahim 9

**To Ghirahim!**

****Question: HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR HAIR SO SILKY AND FABULOUS!?

Answer: I "borrow" Zexion's hair gel, "some" of Vaati's grease, and let them work their magic!

Zexion: Whatever...

Vaati: OH HEEEELLL NO!

Ghirahim: Don't you sass me, brudda!

Zexion: You've spent too much time with the Gorons...

Ghirahim: Not choo too, yo!

Zexion: And Beat...

**Try and guess which characters from which! Winner gets to ask 2 questions!**


	166. THE END

**A sad story. Features me and others. I'll be referred to as Keyblader. Got it memorized?**

Keyblader strolled around the studio for "Zelda Interviews." He had gotten lots of reviews, follows, the good stuff. Then the Postman gave him another review that sent this story crashing down into the dumps.

"Here you go, Mr. Keyblader99," the Postman said, giving him the letter.

"Another review?" Keyblader asked.

"Yes, sir! It is from-"

"Don't say who it is, man. Respect their rights, one of the rules of being a postman!"

"Oh, goodness! Forgive me, reviewer!"

And the Postman left. Keyblader chuckled, and opened the letter. His jaw literally dropped to the floor, causing a loud bang. Keaton rushed into the room.

"Whas' wrong, Key?" he asked.

"Looks like Zelda Interviews... isn't allowed on the site," Keyblader said.

"WHAT!?" Keaton exclaimed. "But... that's like your best story!"

"I know, but the contract for writing is that I don't do any Q&A stuff..."

"Oh... So what do we do?"

"We delete the story, and accept PM questions only," Keyblader said firmly.

Keaton looked at the ground. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault, Keaton. Don't worry!" Keyblader said, trying to keep the mood light.

**I'M SORRY! SAY FAREWELL TO THIS STORY FOREVER! DON'T YOU FORGET IT! GOT... IT... MEMORIZED?!**


End file.
